Is This Real Love?

You feel torn. One part of you wants to dive in. Another wants to run. They make you feel safe, but sometimes you’re bored. They make you laugh, but something’s missing. You wonder: Is this it? Is this love? Or am I settling?

We live in a time where everything is available: swiping, choosing and comparing. And somewhere between too many options and a longing for depth, ambivalence was born. You’re not broken for not knowing, you’re human.

The myth of “The One”

We grew up with the idea that love should feel like clarity, like fireworks, like knowing instantly. But often, love is not certainty, it’s becoming. True relationships are not made by destiny. They are created in the micro-moments of presence, commitment and truth.

So how do you know?

There’s no perfect formula, but there are better questions than “Is this my person?”

Try these:

• Can I grow in this relationship?

• Am I trying to change them — or do I respect who they are?

• Do I feel safe to express my truth here?

• Can we repair when things break down?

• Do we share a vision for life — or just a moment?

The truth is, the “right person” is not the one who completes you. It’s the one who meets you where you are and walks with you as you both evolve.

Ambivalence is normal — especially today.

Our nervous systems are constantly overstimulated. We fear regret, we fear missing out and we fear choosing wrong. But love isn’t about finding someone perfect, it’s about building something real.

Sometimes, the doubt is a sign that something needs to shift. Sometimes, it’s just fear talking. Either way, clarity comes from experience, not overthinking.

Ambivalence isn’t a flaw in your personality. It’s a psychological state where two opposing desires coexist and both feel true.

You want closeness and space. You want them and you’re afraid they’re not enough.
You crave stability but wonder what else is out there. Neurologically, this tension lights up the same areas in the brain as threat and uncertainty. That’s why it feels like pressure, like confusion and like being split inside.

But here’s what matters: ambivalence doesn’t always mean you’re in the wrong relationship. It means something deeper in you is being asked to mature. To feel your needs with more clarity.
To choose not from fear of missing out, but from emotional truth.

And sometimes, that clarity only comes through living the questions slowly, honestly and in your own rhythm.

What if they’re not “The One”?

Then they were the one for right now. The one who showed you a new part of yourself.
The one who mirrored your patterns and maybe… the one who prepared you for the next chapter.

Not every love is meant to last forever, but every love can change you — if you let it.

If this speaks to you…

This is the kind of inner work we do in The Journey of Us. Clarifying what love means to you.
Exploring doubts with compassion. Choosing not from fear or fantasy, but from truth.

Because it’s not about finding “the one”. It’s about becoming yourself and seeing who meets you there. Explore the journey here: click here